Helping Odd Dogs Feel at Home: Why the 3/3/3 Rule Matters

By: Leia Barrett, Ph.D, Author, Stories by Leia

Although I grew up with dogs, I did not adopt my first dog until I was 40. I wanted a dog for many years, but demanding jobs and a lack of time at home made me question whether I could give a dog the life they deserved.

When my husband and I finally took the plunge, we were introduced to the ‘3/3/3 rule’. The 3/3/3 rule explains that it can take 3 days for a dog to decompress, 3 weeks to start feeling comfortable, and 3 months to fully settle in and build trust. It helped us navigate through the difficult times, reassuring us that our new dog Layla’s odd behaviors were normal.

At the same time, I was doing research for my children’s book, The Odd Dog, interacting with as many rescue and shelter groups as I could. What struck me was how often the 3/3/3 rule was mentioned. In a world of half-truths and minute disagreements, every expert I found agreed that the 3/3/3 rule was not only valid, but as close to universal as anything I’d seen.

Looking at the 3/3/3 rule from an author’s perspective, I also saw the subject matter could (and should!) be utilized for children and their families.

In an era when kids have technology and information at their fingertips, 3/3/3 has the power to unlock crucial SEL and life skills. Here are a few crucial lessons I believe 3/3/3 can teach families:

Fosters patience and empathy

Teaching kids the 3/3/3 rule helps them understand the adjustment period a dog needs. Without this understanding, they might expect immediate bonding or interaction with a new dog. This can lead to frustration on the part of a child or, worse, create a situation where a dog lashes out.

Encourages Respect for the Dog’s Space

Helping children understand a dog’s need for quiet and space, especially in the first three days, is helpful for a number of reasons. First, it avoids mishaps if a child unintentionally invades a dog’s safe space or tries to interact before it’s ready. By teaching kids to respect their dog’s need for space, they are also learning the importance of personal boundaries and respect.

Building Positive Interactions

Understanding that a dog’s comfort levels and socialization will develop gradually helps children engage with the dog in a positive and non-threatening way. The 3/3/3 rule can encourage kids to be gentle and patient, reinforcing positive behavior through treats and praise. This helps the dog become more comfortable and establishes a foundation in which their relationship can thrive.

Some Final Thoughts

Teaching children about the 3/3/3 rule not only helps them understand and support their new pet but also fosters a sense of empathy, responsibility, and respect. By incorporating these lessons into their daily interactions with the dog, children can contribute to a smoother transition and a stronger, more positive relationship with their new furry family member.

Look for The Odd Dog’s Guide to Making Friends, a follow-up book to The Odd Dog. In this story, the 3/3/3 rule is woven through the story as Odd welcomes a new dog into his home.